Goals

So first, in the human events section- Maria, the Spanish assistant has left Bordeaux and La Reole entirely to head back to Spain for a real job that pays a heck of a lot better than being an assistant. Which is great for her, and not unexpected- but a real shame for me. Because she was really cool, and was essentially my French teacher. Oh well, I'm sure I can find other people to learn French from. On the positive side though, now I have some place to crash if and when I visit Spain.


Anyway... I've had to readjust my outlook a tad since I hopped the pond.

I had a bit of a pie in the sky attitude towards my ability to survive in France before I left. I really liked the idea of being fluent in French, and perhaps really soaking up life in a small town. I really didn't appreciate how crappy my French skillz truly were. I conveniently ignored how much trouble I had understanding simple spoken conversation in French when I was studying it at FSU. I think I assumed that now that it was "real" and "submersion" I would just jump on in and "get it" and whatever other buzz words I can through out.

I think that I also didn't grasp the gravitas of what an immersion experience really is. My fault.
I think that the first time I recall feeling meaningfully frustrated with my immersion is when I had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't be as funny as I wanted to be. Thats not to say that watching me make a fool of myself isn't humorous, at least a little- but what I'm talking about is the ability to be intentionally funny. Thats the rub.

Looking back over the past couple months, I think the happiest I've been with the French is when I can make them chuckle by appropriately using their language in conjunction with my wit to make something both (reasonably) grammatically correct, and at the same time ammusing. Yeah... it doesn't happen often- but occasionally there is a serendipitous juxtaposition between something funny I want to say, and a way for me to say it with my somewhat petite vocab... and those times have made my stay worth it.

However, while Ino longer attempt to both break laws of grammar and physics at the same time (see: j'ai arrive demain) I am not excactly speaking french couramment. So, I am working on not being so timid, and just putting myself out there more and more, because if I don't speak and make mistakes and accept correction and learn and blah blah blah ........ I will never get better, but instead just remain more and more afraid to learn. Ah well, no biggie.
So, I have updated what I want from the near future between me and Francais: dans le futur proche.


1. I need to eventually learn to say voila without feeling like a complete tool. I blame American's poor usage of the word, because it's soooo tacky when thrown in randomly in an English conversation. However, within its legitimate context, its absolutely invaluable- I just can't normally bring myself to say it without either doing it quite haultingly, or feeling like a phony.

2. I should probably sit down, just me and a text book and unlock the mysteries of venir (the verb, to come) . It would be so useful, but I have only passing familiarity with its uses and conjugation. Which is a real shame since i attempt to use it daily, and i typically don't usually completely follow right away when someone uses it in conversation- then I feel dumb.

3. The French have much cooler and more concise phrases, but, just like my problems with voila I can't help but feel silly using them. For example Bon Appetite, I know its polite to wish it to people when you eat, but all I can think of is the damn food magazine- so yeah. I need to get over that. But there are other good ones. Of course there's bon week-end, bonne journee, bon apres-midi & bonne soiree. But my favorite has to be bonne continuation- its just so no nonsense.

4. Just in general, I need to work in some more adjectives into my daily speech, and it would be cool if I could eventually wean myself off of the cognates. Because not everything is superbe, or fantastique after all. But at the same time, I feel pretty cool and American when I refer to most things as c'est cool. I hope that it burns into their heads that cool is our word first, and only theirs on loan. Either that or its our way of saying thanks for rendez-vous, encore and menage-a-trois.

We'll call it even.